squirty

**OFFICIAL NOTICE**

You look like a douche in your pointy-toed shoes.

A big dumb douche.

Why do you want to look like a giant elf with 18 inch feet?

WHY?

Am I missing something with the pointy thing? Am I that out of touch?

REALLY?

Did Tom Cruise wear them on a talk show or something, is that how this mess got started?

You are a man (or you were at one time)

Balls and pointy toed shoes do not go together unless they are indulging a kink.

And the f*ing man purses?

STOP

please stop being a squirty feminine hygiene product and rescue yourself from the whirlpool of your gender's odd demasculinization practices.

What the hell?

carrying a man purse does not make you a big ol' douche but carrying a man purse while strutting around in 18 inch shoes that look like they should have bells on the tip (shoes should NOT have tips, by the way) just might.

Christ.