I remember several crappy movies (dances with wolves, for example) and a couple good books, wherein the lonely, abandoned, and tortured hero(?) made desperate attempts to win the affection of some fluffy little critter (usually a dog or...wolf). Through extreme projective efforts, the hero comes to believe that the (we'll just call it a) dog is really lonely too. He then figures that approaching the dog would only scare it away...so he baits it with food. Mr. Costner had a system of warming the wolf up to him so that, eventually, it would take the meat from his hand. After that "significant" display of trust, you'll recall, the two were essentially life mates. Though the examples which come to mind are from admittedly fictional sources, I am sure there are plenty of real-life accounts which they mirror. You know, crazy old women and their cats or squirrels or pigeons or whatever.

I have two issues with the whole thing.

First, what if there's nothing wrong with the dog in the first place? The heroes of the stories just assume that the dog wants a friend. What if the dog was fine on its own? What if it was HAPPY on its own? What if the dog had a schedule and its own little doggy ways of entertaining itself. Just because you are miserable all alone on the frontier or in a vampire infested world doesn't mean the dog has to be! OF COURSE it would run away, not because it's scared but because it doesn't want or need to play with you. Maybe the damn dog doesn't want to be domesticated. Maybe it settled for the bullshit of humanity because FOOD was used to trick it. That thought brings me to:

The second issue I have is the method baiting. It is food for christs sake! How f*ing manipulative can you get? Of course the dog wants your jerky, Costner! IT'S A DOG. Perhaps it would be more honest to say hi to the critter and let it get to know you before playing with its innate need to survive. Sure, it probably would have taken longer for the dog to warm up, but at least you would have the satisfaction of knowing that it actually found you to be something more than tolerable as a human being. You totally fucked (forget the self-censoring) with it via instinct. The poor thing had, through conditioning, associated a big dumb human with survival--it believed in its little doggy mind that this human was necessary. What a bunch of crap.

People do this shit to each other all the time, which disturbs me to no end. They put their own pathology on others and really believe the other person shares the desire for companionship or affection or whatever. They can't just come out and be themselves because they are afraid the other will run away. They can't wait through the necessary warming up period because they are so desperate and lonely and the need to assuage that is so URGENT that they have to resort to a sick game of manipulation. Probably not with food, but maybe with humor? with sex?? Here, miss, can I buy you another drink??? Let me hook you with this thing you THINK you need--this thing I THINK you need.

Through this little mutual mind fuck everyone thinks they are satisfied and happy.

Until the Calvary come.

x